my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
