My sheets look like a crime scene.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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