She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
