Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
