Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
