to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He felt like a one man threesome
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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