is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
