its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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