hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
