It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
