i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
