look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
