Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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