So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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