NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
