having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
