he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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