all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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