ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Acid is not a monday night drug
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
