An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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