it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Every concussion has its silver lining
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
