a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
