just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
