is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
