Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there was a trapeze. enough said
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
