i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
