Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
