Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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