I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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