There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there was a trapeze. enough said
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
