I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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