garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i don't like sucking hair
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
