How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
