A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
