so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
