Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Drake has all the answers
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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