Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
