guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
