Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
