Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
