i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
