the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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