well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
