I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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