she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
