Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
