He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
