Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
