he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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