covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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