i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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