I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
