did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
