people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
